


The Cat in the Hat Smells A Rat

by AnonEhouse



Series: Battling Coronavirus (varied fandoms) [19]
Category: The Cat in the Hat - Dr. Seuss
Genre: COVID-19, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Happy Ending, coronavirus rats, rat problem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:33:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23673127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: The Cat in the Hat wants to find something fun to do during the pandemic.
Series: Battling Coronavirus (varied fandoms) [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1676572
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	The Cat in the Hat Smells A Rat

**Author's Note:**

> Rhyming is HARD. Trying to sound like Dr. Seuss is HARD. I gave it my best shot. ;^)

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

The sun was bright  
no rain clouds neared.  
STILL! something was wrong  
The Cat in the Hat feared.

He looked both ways  
When crossing the street.  
There were so few cars  
He walked on his hands   
instead   
of   
his feet.

He wanted some fun.  
"I know! I'll go to the park!  
Someone is always there!  
It will be a lark!"

He climbed a tree,   
and jumped over the wall.  
"I have jacks   
and chalk   
and marbles  
galore!"  
he said while juggling two squirrels and a ball.

"Is this the same park?" he wondered out loud.  
"Where is the laughter?  
Where are the crowds?"  
In this park no one played ball.  
No one played jump rope.  
They hardly played at all.

They walked in invisible boxes  
Six feet around  
Were they all mimes?  
Had the cat missed a new game   
in  
town?

Everyone wore masks!  
It wasn't Halloween.  
Was it a party?  
Some kind he'd never seen?

He took off his hat, and put on a mask,  
"I can play too!"  
"Are we pirates? Or burglars?  
"Or ninjas? Or cowboys? MOOO!"

But no one would play,  
They looked at the cat,  
and then scurried away.

"I know what I must do!"  
cried the cat in the hat.  
"I must ask Thing One and Thing Two!   
"They know all the best games  
"why didn't I think of that?"

"Thing One and Thing Two!"  
The Cat ordered, shaking his hat.  
They tumbled out with a shout,  
to land with a splat.

Thing One said,  
"You need a new game,  
"Since the virus began  
"Nothing's the same."

Thing Two said,  
"The restaurants are closed,  
"The cafeterias, too."  
"No one wants to be exposed."

"You can't eat out,  
"You can only order in."  
"The trash in the alleys...  
"well, the pickings are thin."

"What is the game?"  
asked the Cat with a frown.  
"I must have my fun!  
"Somewhere in this town!"

"You have claws   
on your paws.  
You are a cat.  
There are rats!"  
said the Things One and Two.  
"Do we really need to   
tell you what to do?"

"Rats?"  
Said the Cat in the Hat.  
His eyes went wide as wide could be.  
"Rats in the alleys? Rats in the STREET!  
"These rats cannot take over my city!"

He took off his hat   
and undid his tie,  
took a deep breath   
and  
then  
let out a cry.

"Pssht pssht, pssht,   
come one  
come all,  
come to the   
raticide ball!"

Out of the alleys,  
down from the trees,  
up from the cellars  
the cats answered his pleas.

"ATTACK!" the Cat   
without a Hat   
said,  
"Don't stop  
until all the rats   
are dead."

The army of kitties  
flew straight to their work  
cleared out all the rats  
and went home with a burp.

**Author's Note:**

> No pet rats were harmed. Just to reassure you. :^)
> 
> https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/starving-angry-cannibalistic-america-s-rats-are-getting-desperate-amid-n1180611


End file.
